The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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