By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
