She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
