Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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