I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
