you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
