FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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