I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
