I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
