I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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