He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
