Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
