this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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