Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
