you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I love you.
Bad choice
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize