So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize