btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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