My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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