So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
