Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
