a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
