i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
