Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
