Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I can text with my tongue
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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