We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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