But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
