We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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