how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
COCAINE IS GR8
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
