Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
