The maid of honor just puked.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
