Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
