i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
