some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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