your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can i not drive my cunt home
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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