he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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