even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
