me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
