you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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