Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
