There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
