I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
