Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
