I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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