Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
