yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
