ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
