One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
