so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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