I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
