Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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