I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
