worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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