I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
