He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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