we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
