Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
