I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
