I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
