Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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